Monday, August 01, 2005
i find myself staring into blank air, brain unable to comprehend anything
coz i used to use those time to think about him
and now that im on anti depressants
im on a permanent "whee,! haha hehe" mode
i ll start side tracking back to the good ol times or think about nothing when i tread on the awful past
its unnatural, i tell u
but im also always tired now
i yawn alllll day
no matter how much i sleep
i just smile and smile (and yawn) until my batterys flat
and i shut down
but my minds blank
totally
and im glad for that
i know im sad,
but i cant cry
coz its like, i know why im sad, i know i
should cry, but at the same time, all the sad stuff seem to be blurred and washed out
then that equals to i not being sad
so i cant cry
i feel a little awful
its weird when you cant cry
theres this something-stuck-in-my-chest feeling crying would relieve
im not getting any better
and im getting frantic
and my thoughts are so contradicting
i myself dont know whats going on
and dont ask me if im quitting school
im not, i tell you IM NOT.
unless i totally lose my mind
i ll still wanna go back to school
its just that...
xoxo
joce-lyn
9:55 PM
